Melting Oxygen

You are not allowed to breathe. You are not allowed to see. You cannot breathe and you cannot see. Most of the time nobody gets to it. It is probably the most difficult and demanding task. Few are those who finally get to it. It seems so simple, yet it is the most demanding task. That is why so few people get to it. The people i know are alienated from these two performances. They don't function like they should. they function as machines. They feel cold they talk cold they smile cold they cry cold. i do too. i do too. I'm aware of this, but i do, too.

I feel cold about the things that happen to me. And then i feel suffocated about the things that don't. Today i am not sure which is most efficient to kill. They both are. But i do not understand which is worse. And in the end I feel as a total misfit in my surroundings, because I get so easily confused by this tangled situation. What I more often choose to do, is to do nothing. And i honestly do that. I sink in the void, which I hate so much. This is when i experience the dominant effects of emptiness. But i have recently become confident that emptiness is full of meaning. Full of signs. Any void is a rich land of infinite possibilities. You sleep in it. And when you wake up and find yourself like a lizard, you can transform into any type of form or creature or sound or weapon or taste or. a smoke. We all need a smoke. There is a bizarre distance between the man and his soul when it is time for a smoke. The eyes still, the body still. Only two fingers hold the burden of this task of a smoke. And the mouth. The rest is still. Seemingly. It is highly possible that this is only an impression. The shivering soul is not a visual effect. It a vibration of the subconscious. So it is obvious that it is not a visual effect. This is why you almost never get to it. This is most probably why.